


4 + 1 - Asexual Reproduction

by PaxDuane



Series: Alola Family -- Legends and All [2]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Amicable Divorce, Asexual Augustine Sycamore, Asexual Character, Divorce, F/M, family in-jokes, science jokes that children take seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 04:50:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21173708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaxDuane/pseuds/PaxDuane
Summary: Four times Hanako and Augustine tell someone that their children were produced asexually and one time they have to explain what that means.





	4 + 1 - Asexual Reproduction

1.

Augustine is funny, he’s flirty, he’s smart, he’s respectful. He gets Hanako’s name right immediately, he complements her cooking, he rambles about his thoughts about Professor Oak’s work and about the work being done in his home region. He expresses worry over his younger brother and adoration for his youngest brother who’s barely out of toddler-hood. He wants kids, he likes her.

“I’m asexual,” he admits, very carefully, on their third date.

That doesn’t matter, Hanako decides, by the time they love each other and get married. Their darling Aka Rouge follows nine months after. Augustine kisses her, hugs her, and she does the same to him. Nothing gets passionate.

When Aka is a few months old, Augustine’s younger brother and derisively asks how they got him.

“Asexual reproduction,” Hanako tells this young man who refers to her as Delia and Aka only as “Rouge” or “Red.” She says it with strength and a droll sense of humor and Augustine chokes on his coffee.

2.

Red is three and old enough to understand, somehow, that his parents don’t act like other parents. His signing, in Kantonese Sign Language and Kalosian Sign Language, is flawless when he asks his parents where babies come from—after all, Nanami said that their parent are still “lovey dovey” like when they had Green. She has also determined that his parents are not “lovey dovey.” As Red has seen Nanami and Green’s parents and how they act, he has to agree.

So he asks.

His Papa hums. “Well, most of the time it’s when two people have who are sexually attracted to each other do something to have a baby.”

Red has no clue what being sexually attracted is, but he decides to not ask by the way his Okaa-san just smacked her own face. She only does that when Papa is being “so smart he’s stupid.” So Red does not want to know.

“You, however, came from asexual reproduction,” Papa says cheerfully. Okaa-san spits out her coffee and is laughing, so Red isn’t sure.

“No, no, your Père is right,” Okaa-san says when he asks for confirmation. “That’s what happened.” She even shows him the sign for it.

Hanako later dumps a pot of ice water on her husband for giving them a head start on the sex talk with their son.

3.

Red is going to have a baby brother. His parents are arguing over names and his Okaa-san’s belly is big and they’re both smiling. He is five years old, but he’ll be six by the time his baby brother comes.

Green’s baby brother just came and his name is Shigeru, a traditional Kantonese name like Nanami’s but unlike Green’s. Green’s a month younger than Red and apparently their parents collaborated to have them match.

This means his baby brother should match Green’s baby brother, and he tells his parents this. They hem and haw, but eventually agree to call him Satoshi. His middle name will be Gris, though.

When Red questions this, his Père explains it to him like this. “Well, it’s because your brother is like you.”

Augustine means that it’s because Satoshi is half-Kalosian.

Red asks if it means that Satoshi is also reproduced asexually.

Okaa-san does a big belly laugh and agrees.

4.

Satoshi is four the first time he remembers coming to Kalos. He was two the first time and he is told this. Many people call him Gris. Red is working his way through the Kanto gyms with Green and Shigeru is still at home in Pallet Town.

Okaa-san and Papa are getting a divorce. That’s why they’re here.

Okaa-san explains that she and Papa love each other, but now that Papa is the Regional Professor for Kalos they don’t love each other enough to be able to stay married.

Shigeru said that only people who really love each other can have children.

So Satoshi Gris Ketchum-Sycamore asks in the words his brother has to use his hands for, how he came to be since only people really in love who are married can have children.

Papa looks sad, but laughs a little and says, “Why, that’s because you and Red are products of asexual reproduction.”

Later, back in Pallet, he and Shigeru look up the words. He asks his Okaa-san if he is a type of sponge. She laughs and laughs but says no, he’s human.

Satoshi is very confused.

+1.

Takeshi is the one who asks about his dad. Only he uses the word Otou-san, and Satoshi doesn’t have an Otou-san. He explains this but Takeshi shakes his head.

Kasumi is blunter and asks who his parents are and he explains simply that he has his Okaa-san, Hanako Ketchum, and his Père, Augustine Sycamore. He adds that he was reproduced asexually.

Takeshi stares at for him a bit and says, “Satoshi that’s impossible for humans.”

He calls his Père and cusses him out for the joke that was never corrected. His Père laughs and apologizes and explains he thought Okaa-san would correct it. When Satoshi calls Okaa-san, she looks smug and says it’s Augustine’s own fault, but eventually apologizes and hangs up to check with Red about if he is clear that _yes_ his parents had sex.

Satoshi just shrugs off that the joke came from Père being asexual. Duh, of course Père doesn’t care about sex. He just cares about his kids and their cousin Alain who recently showed up and pokemon and Okaa-san.

Satoshi is still going to tell people he came from asexual reproduction, now that he's in on the joke.


End file.
